Casual Dating

Get Her Attention without Getting Physical

Listen guys, here’s the deal: I’m not here speaking for all women, but I can tell you that after talking to many single women about this issue, a consensus has emerged – and we respectfully request that you all STOP BEING SO GRABBY.

I’m not sure what makes men think it’s ok to put their hands on the bodies of strange women (er – women who are strangers), without the slightest hint of an invitation. I’m further flabbergasted as to how these men expect the scenario to further unfold. What is the thought process here? “I’m gonna grab her ass, and then she’s gonna whip around, smile, drop to her knees, and unzip me with her teeth…” Uh, no. Not happening, dude. I’m pissed.

Grabbing a girl you don’t know, out of the blue, is the same as dragging her home with you by her hair. The message you’re sending is a neanderthal one: “Me horny. Me want fucky-fucky. See girl. She’ll do.” It’s not flattering, not empowering, not sexy, and not a turn-on.

Understanding that I have a majority male audience here, I really want to make this clear: If you want my attention, keep your fucking hands off me. In fact, the more you do so, the stronger the possibility is that I will be desperate to feel your palms sliding across my back and down my sides, or your fingers tracing over my bare thighs. Women are not men. We enjoy subtlety, flirting, desire, and even begging, if it comes to that. Mmmmm. Let’s hope it comes to that, at least once in awhile.

I know there’s no dating handbook that explicitly spells this out (actually, there probably is, but I’m not here to plug it,) and it may be confusing to some. So, if you’re dating someone new, and you don’t want to be crass or obvious, how can you let her know you’re interested without laying a finger on her?

Here’s the answer you may not want to hear: Work harder. That’s right. Dig deeper, boys, and I promise you will get results. Lean in further. Pay attention. Be interesting as well as interested. Make eye contact. Smile a lot. Use her name in conversation. Flatter her genuinely. Be playful. She will notice these cues, and the rumbling will start in her lower regions. Use your brain, your humor, your charisma. Sit on your hands, for now.

How do you captivate at woman without getting grabby?

 

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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