Casual Dating

Confessions of a Female Player

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When we think about players, it’s usually guys. But there are plenty of female players out there who are very successful at getting what they want. Let me explain . . .

I don’t go around telling people I’m a player because it’s not seen the same way as a man who is out regularly playing the field or dating multiple women. There’s still a double standard when it comes to women and men and the amount of people they date and have sex with. Men are revered by their peers while women are judged. That being said, I have a very strong libido that I like to satisfy and I just love the company of men. I will admit, it’s easier as a woman to meet and hookup, so I do have an advantage in that respect.

I don’t see being a player as a game or a challenge in how many men I can conquer. I genuinely love sex, feel it is a healthy part of who I am, and don’t feel ashamed in satisfying my needs regularly. I meet most of the men through online dating sites. For someone who is not interested in long-term dating (at least not at this stage in my life), it’s a convenient way to find exactly what I want without too much hassle. Trying to meet someone in person and explain that I don’t want to date or that I don’t want a boyfriend takes time.

My partners are not always one night stands, especially if the sex is great! Because great sex is hard to find. What I’ve noticed is the guys who give off the Casanova air of being a stud in bed usually aren’t that good. It’s the geeky unassuming men that often blow my mind. Remember guys, only represent what you can follow up with.

If a man is good in bed then I want to see him again, for sure. So, yes, occasionally  I’ll have multiple men on the go. My rule is, I don’t talk about one man to another. I respect individuals and keep every relationship private and separate. And there is such a thing as too many men. I’ve let things get a little crazy at times and had to pull back to prevent myself from going crazy.

The biggest problem I have to deal with as a female player is when a guy develops feelings and want more. Even though I’m very clear in my dating profile and messages that I’m strictly in it for the hookup, the heart wants what the heart wants. It can get a bit sticky, so if I see a guy getting a bit mushy, I turn down the heat a little. Even though I don’t want a relationship, I still like my sex to be passionate, and yes, sometimes romantic. And to be honest, I’m not immune to crushing on a guy either. If the right man comes along, my days of playing might be over.

Are you a player? What are your biggest challenges?

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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