Casual Dating

Do’s and Don’ts when Sexting Women

Woman in Lingerie Sexting

Sexting is a great way to build anticipation before you meet your hookup. And if you don’t know how to do it, it’s time to start practising.

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Sexting Do’s and Don’ts for Men

Do follow her lead.

Let her set the pace to the dance. You don’t have to guess the boundaries, how raunchy, or what’s off topic, etc. Let her decide and follow suit.

Do use your imagination.

And do leave something to the imagination!

Do keep the goal of sex in mind.

The whole point of sexting is titillation and anticipation. It’s like a beautiful long striptease. You want her wet and waiting, not annoyed. You want to turn her on and rev her up for your hookup, not make her turn the phone off because she’s in an important work meeting and it keeps buzzing.

Don’t mix up your profiles.

Nothing worse than getting a text saying, “My hard dick is in my hand just thinking about spreading those thighs, Andrea” when your name is Nancy. Or Jamie. Yes, I really did get this message.

Don’t turn her off.

That would negate the whole point of sexting, wouldn’t it?

There’s a fine line between sexy and vulgar. It’s different for everyone, but a good guideline is to start soft and get progressively dirtier. Just like in real life.

If you approached a woman in an alley and just pulled out your cock, she would not be turned on—she would probably call the police!

Women need to be turned on first—then this exact scenario could be hot, not violating.

I know, I know, if I send you a sext in the middle of your office day that says, “I just shoved a thick dildo up my pussy thinking of your asshole.,” your dick would tent-pole a slash in your pants.

But women need to be in that frame of mind first, in order to get there.

Don’t forget to remember.

If you’ve hooked up before, you have so much more to sext about.

Women are really turned on by memory triggers. The more detailed, the better. I don’t mean graphic details— although obviously sexting is by definition somewhat graphic. I mean, get very specific about a memory.

Don’t say “Had a great time at the pub.” Say “I can still smell the perfume you wore. I could hardly contain myself watching you dance to that Shania Twain song in your tight jeans.”

Now you have shown her that you remember her scent, and you have taken her back to the song so that she can relive the specific exchange and imagine you responding to that moment.

Do give her feedback.

We might be goddesses, but we’re not mind readers. And though we might know the general, um, thrust of dirty talk, we also know that every guy is different.

Just as I advised you to “follow her lead,” I am also asking that you give us something to follow. 

We want reassurance and to know that we’re turning you on. We don’t want to be left hanging for hours after a big reveal. Give us something: “That made me harder” or “I love it when you said…”

If you’ve ever wondered why a woman stopped cold in the middle of a hot sext chat, it might be because there was no positive reinforcement.

Let her know she’s on track so she can keep it coming, ahem.

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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